Final Blog Post

Although I have heard that most rapists aren’t strangers, it is hard to believe sometimes. I think the results of these studies should be displayed by the media. The news tends to only show the most extreme cases of women who were abducted, beaten, and raped at gunpoint by a stranger. This gives society a false image of what it’s actually like. Yes, these scenarios do happen—but it is a slim percent of the cases. As stated in the article, the vast majority of rape or attempted rape assaults are done by someone the victim already knows and without a weapon. I think the media (newspapers, television, radios, and magazines) should let the public know about these non-stranger rapes as well. This would help victims be able to protect themselves and hopefully prevent some of these attacks. They might become more aware of their so-called “friends” advances, which gives them a hint to be more careful. Women don’t assume that people they know will try and do these harmful things to them because most women don’t know how common it really is. If the media would give an accurate representation of rape then maybe it would be less likely to happen. Maybe women would stop getting so drunk and high in an unfamiliar environment. Since most scenarios involve drugs or alcohol, this might prevent a controllable situation. Yes, rape will still happen- but maybe the numbers would decrease.

As a society, we are still scared and uneasy talking about sexual topics sometimes. Because lots of women are uncomfortable talking about sex, they are less likely to report these assaults. A cultural change needs to occur: make sex an easier topic to discuss. Incorporate classes into more high schools and encourage parents to talk about these awkward topics with their children at a younger age. The more comfortable they are with the topic, the more likely they will at least go to someone about the incident. Whether it is a friend or family member, someone would be willing to help. It’s not that people don’t want to help—it’s that most victims don’t speak up because they are scared or uneasy in my opinion.

Overall I found this a very interesting and significant article with lots of great information. In conclusion, I feel that it is everyone’s job to let society know the truth about rape cases. The media needs to display these results and the reality of rape incidents so that prevention and protection plans can be established. Parents and friends need to be more educated and open to discussing the issues to make victims more willing to report the cases that do happen from an acquaintance or while they were intoxicated—without being judged. Most people think it is not going happen to them but it reality everyone could potentially be at risk and most are unaware of this. 

The Complex Human Example-- Special Topic Post

Human Sexuality is complicated. Our society today still thinks it is inappropriate to talk about sex, sexual orientation, and identity openly which is why there are so many misconceptions surrounding these topics. This video from  http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/?s=sex summarizes everything we have learned this semester about sex-related topics in an elementary-like form. It gives you an easy visual to be able to distinguish between sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, and sexual behavior. Today, people assume that we should classify ourselves based on our sex. I feel that our world is so naïve with this concept. Many people all over the world today don’t classify themselves based on their sex. Some of us may think that is weird or strange, but it is actually more common than we think. Every person is different and unique in their own way. Assigning all of these crazy labels and classifications to each human is a relatively new aspect. People several hundreds of years ago would not understand these terms and probably consider them to be somewhat absurd. Is there really a need for all of these labels? Are they doing more harm than good? In my opinion there is no need and that they are more harmful. All of these classifications—male, female, bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, transsexual, transgender, etc, complicate our lives more and makes it even harder to discuss sex on a mature level. I feel that these labels are making our society more judgmental each day. People won’t get to know you if you are “strange” or “weird” or different than them. If people would put these negative labels and classifications aside, you might open yourself up to an entirely new world. You would be able to meet so many more people and actually be able to know and understand someone on a deeper level. If we as a society can look past a few meaningless labels then this could become the norm. Although this is a far-fetched proposal, it is not impossible. Back in the old days there was no such thing. Focusing our time and effort and money into trying to get others to accept us for who we are is ridiculous. Who cares who you like? Who cares how you classify yourself? Are any of these things really going to be important in the far future or after life? Probably not. I think it is just a big waste of time.

In the video, he shows the complex human example. He first puts a dot over the person’s “private part” and classifies this as a person’s sex. If you have a penis you are a male, If you have a vagina then you are a female. Then he proceeds to say that there are also intrasex individuals—making them sound strange and abnormal. Does what parts they were born with make them any less of a  human? I would hope not.

Next he highlights the brain to prove that our gender identity is decided there and that our gender identities are separate from our sex (although that is hard for our society to understand).

Next is the heart. The heart is where our sexual orientation is decided. This is where we put a title on ourselves based on who we are sexually attracted to. I also thought it was neat how he also did a “romantic orientation” as well to show how relationships aren’t always about solely sex.

Lastly he describes sexual behavior as when other people get involved.

All of these titles that he describes come together to create a person’s gender role, which is constructed by society.

In the video, he makes it a point to distinctively separate each category. He states that each of these are independent from each other and that there is a continuum —which is true, but should it really matter?

It is sad that a person has to make a diagram and graphs to explain these concepts, concepts which are supposed to be natural. He discusses a spectrum or range of each category. Adding all of these technical terms make it more complicated than it needs to be. Just a thought…

WGS Insight

One lesson I will take with me from now on is to not be so judgmental. I have always been one to assume things and consider them wrong if the situation didn't agree with my views. Half of the time I would not even listen because I was so pessimistic. I am much more open-minded about certain situations now, and will give people a chance to state their point of view. This is already helped me in many of my relationships. I don't snap back so angrily at my parents and actually listen to my boyfriend's side of things when we get in a fight. This goes for all lessons we have learned in class. For example--homosexuality. I am now much more open with the topic and understand it a lot better. I'm less quick to judge. The same goes with transgender individuals. I didn't realize how naive I was with some of these topics. I didn't know that some people were born with different chromosomes or with extra private parts. I guess I just let my religion and parents' views get in the way sometimes when trying to understand people different than me. This goes for abortion also. I was always pro-life but I can now understand the other side too after being forced to read and watch articles that oppose my view. It's amazing how much you can learn from simply listening. All of the exercises we do in class were difficult at first. Having to listen without saying anything or defending your side was a hard concept for me, although it has got much easier as the semester progressed. I thoroughly enjoyed this class and learning about concepts that are so prevalent in our world today. I've never had a class where I was able to talk, read, and learn about sexuality. I found it very interesting!!
This open-mindedness and listening will definitely help me in the future. I plan on becoming some sort of doctor and have always been interested in the medical field. With this profession, I will be encountering patients, families, and co-workers with different views, gender, races, sexuality, and class. Understanding them and not letting my biased opinions get in the way will help me to have a more successful future as a doctor.

My Friend’s Horrific Experience—Rape (Trigger Warning!!)

I have always had strong views on abortion and conception. Most of this is due to my family and our religious beliefs. I had always been taught that abortion is wrong and should not be tolerated. I was highly pro-life and believed that life began at conception.  The thought of killing an innocent unborn child was awful to me. I was very opinionated and closed-minded when it came to abortion. I would often dismiss the topic because I didn't want to hear any pro-choice advocate’s reasoning. I can now say that one significant experience opened my eyes and made me “think twice” about my pessimistic ways.

One of my mom’s friend’s daughters had to go through a traumatic experience. One night her and some friends had went to some guy’s apartment to pre-game for the night then they were going out. Yeah, she was a little drunk but nothing she couldn't handle. At the bar, one of the guy’s they were with offered to buy her a drink—she gladly accepted. Little did she know that this drink would be the end to her good night. Shortly after drinking the drink she remembers feeling dizzy but thought it was just because she was drunk. Turns out she didn't have any recognition of what happened later in the night… The next morning when she woke up she was in an unfamiliar shed type building with blood on her pants and severe pain. She immediately called for help and eventually made her way to the hospital where she had an examination and rape kit test done on her. She was given a Plan B type pill (not sure actually what kind). . Long story short, she did not end up pregnant from this experience, but it definitely made me think twice. What if she would have? Carrying that baby through pregnancy would have been a constant reminder of that horrific experience. Why should any girl have to be forced to carry this unwanted child? Being drugged and raped is in itself a big enough issue, without the added stress of pregnancy. So this situation made me think twice. I would have probably considered abortion just as many others would have. I can truthfully say I am much more open-minded on the topic now. 

Objectification

Ever since I can remember, my parents raised me to stand up for myself. I was told never to instigate or start a fight, but to be the one to finish it. I was raised to not let others walk all over me. Because of this, I have grown to be a very straight-forward and headstrong person. In a case of objectification, my reaction typically depends on the situation. Most of the time though if I'm the one being objectified, I fire back (typically in a rude way). For example, if someone yells something at me on the street and isn't trying to say it in a rude way or derogatory tone, then I would just ignore it. No need to start a confrontation if it wasn't offensive or intentionally derogatory. BUT, most of the time this is not the case. Majority of the time when I am street harassed  it is vulgar, provocative, offensive, and dehumanizing. I have had people say very inappropriate comments before. In this instance, I would definitely stand up for myself and fire back with an equally degrading comment. I'm pretty quick on my feet so normally this shuts them up.
In contrast, if I am not the one being objectified, normally I just keep my mouth shut. Especially if I don;t know the person then I normally would not say anything. I don't feel that it is my place to say something. I'm not going to fight other people's battles for them. However, if it is someone I'm very close with such as a friend or family member then I might intervene. Again, it depends on the context of how severe the situation is. If it happens repeatedly  and I witness my friend or family member being walked all over then I will stand up for them.
I haven't had a particular situation that stands out to me. Most of the time they never really amount to anything. They say a comment, I fire one back then move about my business.

Special Topic Post-- "Fotoshop by Adobe" Parody

Women in today’s society are constantly judged by their looks. They are expected to have flawless skin, luscious locks, and perfect bodies—when in reality, that just isn't attainable. Television, advertisements, magazines, and all other forms of media are displaying an unrealistic representation of what women should look like. Photoshop and airbrushing in every advertisement can completely change a woman’s appearance. Today’s technology can completely transform a woman’s body and face more than you could even imagine. Take for example the “Evolution” video marketed by Dove. The video shows how someone can renovate a woman’s face to make her look entirely different and unrecognizable. It’s such a shame that woman of today feel that they have to live up to this false image of “beauty.”

Winterman’s “What Would a Real-Life Barbie Look Like?”, Postrel’s “The Truth About Beauty”, and Sharp’s “Onslaught: Dove vs. Axe” articles we read this week were very interesting and led me to do some of my own research on these topics. I found “Fotoshop by Adobé” from http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2012/01/13/fotoshop-by-adobe-parodies-beauty-product-ads/. This video is a parody that mocks beauty advertisement commercials who claim to completely transform some part of your body or face through a new science formula. The video is somewhat comical, although it is extremely true.

            Jesse Rosten, the filmmaker, creates her own beauty advertisement commercial in which she is selling an imaginary product called “Fotoshop”. This product is intended to be ‘photoshop’—which is the actual invention that transforms these women in the advertisements. Technology is what changes the women in the media, not the beauty product they are trying to sell you. No miracle drug or beauty product is capable of the transformations that these actresses and models appear to have undergone because it isn't possible without surgery. They make it seem as if a simple cream or makeup or brush can make you look perfect and flawless.

             The parody opens up with stating that ‘Fotoshop” is the new revolution in beauty capable of making a new you—but perfected. It shows how “Fotoshop” is a miracle product that can give you the “look of your dreams”. It shows how actual Photoshop can adjust your body size, remove wrinkles, increase your eyelash length, brighten your eyes, adjust your racial skin tone, remove blemishes, create fuller lips, whiten your teeth, and adjust your hair color. It mimics the exact techniques and methods real beauty commercials do by showing how the product works. It describes the “science” behind the formula that allows the product to work. The average person doesn't even pay attention to what’s actually being said. If the advertisement uses big “scientific” words with an enlarged close-up view of the scientific process, the gullible women of today’s society will believe it.  In reality they have no clue what is meant or what is actually being said or described. They claim that this product will instantaneously erase your blemishes, which is not humanly possible without surgery. The video is very sarcastic which shows how ridiculous beauty product commercials can be. One of the actresses even shouts out “My skin feels like plastic!”, perhaps referring to all of the plastic surgeries women undergo today in attempt to create a “perfect body”. Possibly the funniest part was when this parody was mocking the “Covergirl” commercial by stating “There’s only one way to look like a real covergirl” which claims to be the most natural makeup. It also has an effective slogan which mocks “Maybe It’s Maybelline”. Watch the video to find out! It will have you laughing in no time.

            It’s so outrageous how “perfect” is the aim for most teenage and adult women. What is perfect anyway? And would you really want to be perfect? I feel that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If the media would stop portraying these unrealistic and fake representations of women, maybe women wouldn't feel that they have to live up to the false images of celebrities and models. The best line from this parody was “You don’t have to rely on a healthy body image or self-respect anymore.” This statement is incredibly true. Women are constantly being objectified and used as sex toys or for sexual purposes to sell products.   Self-respect is history. Half of the women today follow no morals just to fit into society. Also, being healthy isn't a concern anymore—being skinny and abnormally thin is. Natural is beauty!

http://vimeo.com/34813864

Liz's Presentation

      Liz Fletcher-Brown's discussion was on body image and eating disorders. She focused primarily on two types of eating disorders- Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia. One main point that stood out to me was that anorexia has the highest mortality rate of all mental health disorders. I would have assumed anorexia contributed the least to mental health disorders mortality rate. Learning that extremely violent suicide, such as jumping off building or jumping in front of a train, is the most common way people with anorexia die was horrific. I would have assumed heart failure or starvation would have been the most common. This disease has such a high mortality rate because people with this condition are very resistant to treatment. They are stubborn and think that treatment can harm them more and make them more sick. When the treatment is involuntary, it is less effective because this is a mental health condition. Therefore, the lifestyle change must come internally. Also, the availability and long-term commitment make it tough for patients to stick with treatment. Before her presentation, I thought eating disorders were somewhat rare and that they were easily treatable. I didn't know that over 8 million people have an eating disorder and that the ratio is 1 in every 200 women. I was shocked to know that  60% of people with anorexia nervosa die prematurely and that treating this disease is such a challenge. I was also shocked to find out how many problems there are with the insurance companies to pay for treatment. I feel that the insurance companies should cover all health conditions--mental or physical. Another thing I found especially interesting is that eating disorders are more closely-related to OCD, rather than body dysmorphic disorder. 

Body Image

What is Orthorexia and have you ever dealt with an orthorexia patient? What are some warning  signs? Is this becoming more of a problem? Is it a diversion of anorexia? What is your take on this?

In one of my kinesiology classes, we watched a short interview/clip on Orthorexia. The video didn't go into much detail but it left me very curious. They described it as "extreme healthy eating". You would think that eating very healthy would be a good thing, but in fact it can be very damaging to your body. It shared a story of a woman who became obsessed with eating healthy, that her body was withering away to almost nothing. She stated how she wasn't really concerned with her weight, she just wanted to put pure foods into her body. Turns out her body wasn't getting all the nutrients she needed. How is this possible? We are surrounded by people telling us how to eat healthier and check the food labels and that is exactly what she did. I guess she just went a little overboard and to the extreme.

In the video it said that this new disease may be a type of anorexia. How is it a possible type of anorexia if she was actually eating and not starving herself. Where do you draw the line of healthy eating and extreme healthy eating? Is this becoming one of the main eating disorders along with anorexia and bulimia? Others said it may be a form of anxiety or OCD. 

My first encounter

I have been involved in gymnastics for about 10 years now-- 6 years as an athlete and 4 years as coach. It was at my gymnastics facility where I first encountered gay people. As an athlete, I had 4 coaches; two guys and two girls.When I was doing gym, I was younger so I didn't really have a full understanding of gays. I always assumed that gay men were very prissy, overly feminine, and high-fashion. I always had assumed that lesbians were somewhat manly. I think that the media and other social influences created this false image for me. I had never encountered one so I always assumed that all gays and lesbians were like the ones displayed on TV. My assumption was totally wrong-- not all gays and lesbians act and dress that way. Throughout my 6 years as an athlete, I never knew two of my coaches were homosexual. One female coach is a lesbian and one of my male coaches is gay. I did not find out my coaches (now co-workers) sexual orientations until I became an employee. This is because both of my gay coaches didn't have the "typical" gay personality that I had assumed; or they were just really good at hiding their true colors. The lesbian coach doesn't dress manly and acts just like the rest of us straight employees. Our gay coach is a heavier-set man with a deep voice and  manly characteristics. Both of them are the total opposite of what I thought a gay person had to be like. This really opened my eyes. I was shocked when I found out to be honest. They both talk about their partners and I was confused by this at first. Word spread and it finally clicked that they were gay. Sometimes I still forget that they are gay because they don't act like the "normal" gay that society creates. So as you can see, my first encounter with gay people was over 10 years ago, but didn't even realize it until about 4 years ago!!

Activist Act

      Throughout high school and still to this day, I have kept a very close-knit group of friends. There is a group of 5 of us that have been best friends for a very long time. One of my friends is black, and the others are all white. This never seemed like a big deal to us. We never even really noticed it actually, but others obviously did. I am by no means a racist or discriminate towards other races. I feel that this is because when I would see others make fun of or discriminate against my friend, it would hurt my feelings too. Even though I wasn't the one to get taunted, I still felt the pain because it upset my friend. My friend would always tell us not to interfere and that she could fight her own battles but one time I couldn't just sit back and watch. 

      At lunch we had a big group of people that sat around each other in the cafeteria. One of the guys that sat by us is definitely a racist--he even admits it. We've all known him since we were in elementary school and normally he keeps his comments to himself or his close friends but decided to state his mind one day at lunch. In front of everyone he started to loud-cap and make fun of my friend making rude comments like "Why don't you go hang out with other black people", "why are you always with white people", "you'll never be as popular as them cause you're black", "stop liking white guys-- none of them will date you", etc. He continuously called her a "token", and by that point I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up in front of everyone at lunch and fired back at him. I've never called someone out before for being a racist but he took it too far. I'm normally more of a quiet person and keep comments to myself so everyone was shocked when I did this because it was totally out of character for me. I yelled back at him for a good 5 minutes straight while everyone's jaws dropped to the floor. The kid had nothing to say after that; he was speechless. I felt so accomplished and relieved after doing this. I knew it needed to be done and no one was stepping up to the plate to defend her so I took it upon myself. I would do it again in a heartbeat if the opportunity arose again. His comments were totally unnecessary and someone needed to put the big-headed, racist jock back in his place.  My friend still thanks me to this day for it. 

Universalizing and Eliminating Unearned Privileges

      Certain privileges in our world today are unearned and should be either universalized or eliminated completely. As a straight person, I have the privilege to marry who ever I want in any state I would like. I feel that this privilege should be universalized and extended to all people. I believe that if you truly love someone, you should be able to marry them regardless of sex or gender. Some states have already legalized gay marriage. I feel that the federal government should step in and make the executive decision to legalize it in all states. Since straight people don't have to give up their rights, there should be no harm in this. Eight states have already done it. The world would be different because gay couples could start to earn the same financial benefits that straight couples have in the comfort of their own state. They wouldn't have to move states just to get married.

      One privilege that I think should be eliminated is the accusations made towards non-white people. Because I'm white, I have the privilege of not being as suspected as a non-white person. If it was me against a black or Hispanic man/woman, most likely the majority would assume or question him/her first. If something is stolen or damaged, or a person is shot or beaten, 9 times out of 10 a non-white person will become the suspect. People in today's society automatically assume that a person of color or different race did these bad deeds. This is so wrong. Everyone is "innocent until proven guilty", so why should a person of a non-white race be accused or questioned more than a white person? I'm not talking about the incidents where they have sufficient evidence towards a person, but rather situations in which people start to assume and point fingers when they have no clue what happened or who did it. A person's color shouldn't be a factor in this. Maybe if people learned to stop assuming, stereotypes would diminish and racism could start to cease. Some people may not even be aware that they do this. Learning to be more aware can really help you in the future. 

Special Topic Post

Using Women

      How would one define pop culture? Pop culture is the shared attitudes, beliefs, customs, images, and actions of the "majority" of the population. Pop culture is publicized through the mass media such as internet, TV, radio, and newspapers. While pop culture claims to represent the majority of the population--this is not always the case. In my opinion, pop culture represents the beliefs of the privileged groups. For example, in "No Girls Allowed: File Sharing Culture and BitTorrent" from http://www.feministfrequency.com/, the internet  advertisements of BitTorrent are solely directed towards men, when in fact there are actually more women in the United States. I'm sure this is also the case for many other sites as well. 

      Pornography, half-naked women, and sexy poses consume today's advertisement world. In her video, she discusses how all of the ads are directed towards men. Not just males, but heterosexual males. These ads support the beliefs and images that only heterosexual men like, therefore supporting male and straight privilege. Our culture today also assumes that all gamers/bloggers/geeks/tech-freaks/internet users are all male which is definitely not the case. I know from personal experience how much I (a female) use the internet and social networks and games and so forth. Ad companies somewhat discriminate against women by creating an undesirable environment for women to get involved. Some sites and ads make it  almost impossible for women to have a say-so or input which is very unfair. Although I agree with this, it still doesn't stop me personally from using the internet. I'm able to just overlook the negative images and move on, but others can't simply do this. After all this isn't based on an individual level, instead it is on a more cultural/institutional level.

     The advertisements displayed in the media almost always use a sex appeal. Today's culture is somewhat more open about discussing sexual topics than in the past which is why majority of the ads use women as a prop. Whether its on a TV commercial, magazine ad, or website pop-up, women are frequently used to attract viewers. As stated earlier- mainly heterosexual male viewers. These images degrade and dehumanize women. They make women seem inferior to men because they use them as a prop or object. If society claims that 'men and women are equal', then why are women the only ones to be portrayed in this fashion? Who made women the target of sex appeal? Some of the time the product being advertised has nothing to even do with women. Sometimes we look at ads and wonder "what are they even trying to sell?" These ads suggest that women won't amount to anything life and that their sole purpose is to please men, which is entirely not true. Women have the potential to be just as smart and successful as men do and should use this to their advantage. Not all men are to blame though.

       Women sometimes put themselves into these situations. Why even agree to do a photo shoot or video like that? Maybe I'm 'blaming the victim' but since I'm a female also I feel that I have a right to say something. Women of today should have some self-respect. We claim we want equal rights and to be viewed equivalent to men, but yet women still degrade themselves by participating in these actions. We can't really blame the men for all of it if women agree to it. What happened to the olden days when a women's body was sacred and only for her husband's eyes to see? Or when talking about sex was considered highly inappropriate and possibly a punishable action?  If women stopped putting themselves out there and stopped participating in these acts, then maybe we could actually start to be considered equal and viewed as a normal human being instead of just a sex object. We have to tear these barriers down to start making progress.

Are Men Really More Athletic Than Women?

     Patriarchy is a hegemonic ideology that often presents the assumption that men are more athletic and strong than women. This ideology presents this as a brute fact when in reality, it is a social fact. This ideology makes it seem that no woman could ever out lift or out run a man when in fact that is not always the case. Women have the potential to be just as athletic as men. Some women may not have the desire to workout or stay in shape as well as some men, but that does not make them incapable of doing so. Yes, men have more testosterone than women but that necessarily doesn't make them more athletic. Some women may workout or train much harder than their male peers. This is a social fact because over time it could change and this assumption may not have necessarily been the case in the past or across all cultures. The fact that men are supposedly more athletic/strong than women is merely a common sense assumption when it isn't always true. I'm sure most of you know of women that are more athletic than men.

Privilege

Although I have many privileges such as being white, American, and  English, one privilege that I would like to discuss is being straight. Until this class I never really understood or even thought about this as a "privilege". I always just considered it to be my preferred sexual orientation. Yes, I knew it was considered to be the "norm" in our society, but who constitutes what is "normal" anyways? 
Being a straight female, I never realized how many things I take for granted. Simple things like being able to be affectionate in public such as holding a guy's hand and going on dates without receiving strange looks or questions is indeed a privilege. Never am I questioned or looked down upon for being affectionate with a guy. Being able to get married in any state I want or being able to get married in a church are also other privileges I receive just from my sexual orientation. Never am I harassed or discriminated against because of my sexual orientation. Never am I denied a job or position because of my sexual orientation. It's crazy to me how all these little things so unnoticed. This goes along with the article we read about how privileged people are taught not to notice these things and ignore them if they'd like. Learning about how many privileges I do have will make me at least stop and think of some of the experiences and hardships underprivileged groups have to deal with.

"Doing" Gender

      As a lady, there are certain actions you should perform and specific things you should do to fit in with society. One thing that I find wearisome and annoying to keep up is always crossing my legs when I sit down. I know it's a tiny problem but I find it so uncomfortable to sit with my legs crossed. When I was a child, my mother would constantly fuss at me for sitting with my legs open or apart. I understand I should sit like this when I'm wearing a skirt or a dress so people can't see up my clothes, but when I'm in jeans or shorts, I don't see what the big deal is. I'm constantly reminding myself to cross my legs and sit more "lady-like".

      If you look around at all the girls in a public place, probably 98% of them are sitting with their legs crossed. I'd much rather sit with my feet normal and flat on the floor. Or with one leg on my chair and the other flat on the floor. This is just more comfortable to me. Constantly having to think about this and do something I don't want to do is a hassle. Sometimes I do sit correctly and sometimes I don't. As I said before, I will if I'm in a dress or skirt, or if I'm in a really formal place like a banquet or something. I don't sit "lady-like" in a classroom or on my own time. I know this may sound like a tiny problem. Actually, half of the women reading this probably don't even think about it- it just comes naturally to them. I just don't understand who came up with the idea of sitting with your legs crossed. Nobody should be able to dictate how I sit.

Crossing Gender Norms

      For starters, I grew up in Olive Branch, MS with my parents and brother. We are a small and very close-knit family. My house was located in the countryside so we didn't have neighbors or friends close by to play with on a regular basis. For this reason, my brother and I grew very close. Although I don't remember details or certain incidents, my parents tell me all sorts of stories from when I was a kid. I didn't own any Barbies, dolls, or other "girl" toys when I was a child. Instead, I played with dinosaurs and hot wheels and action figures with my brother. This is not normally what young girls enjoy to play with. I wanted to be just like my brother for the longest. I would play with all of his toys and play games outside with him such as basketball, baseball, football, kickball, etc. Since I grew up playing backyard games, I was always with the boys and most of the time considered to be "one of the boys". I didn't dress girly. I wore shorts, t-shirts, tennis shoes, and a baseball cap and blended in just fine with the rest of them. Most of my friends were guys. Even today, 12 + years later I still have interests in "guy" activities. I'd much rather be active and  play a sport or watch ESPN than go shopping or get a manicure. 

      Although this example is from my childhood, it still represents a time when I crossed gender norms. This was unintentional because my parents always made my brother and I hang out together. They didn't buy me girl toys because I didn't enjoy them as much. At that age I had no understanding of gender norms or what was expected of me. My parents didn't force me to participate in activities that I didn't like and also my mom was a huge tom-boy when she was younger. Maybe it runs in the family!

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